Once again Dhoni is winning. Anna is talking. And Ranbir is rocking. Yet an entire nation is sulking. And guess what? MMS was heard uttering few words of disapproval. No, it wasn't about the Indian economy hurtling into a mess. We, the People are not aggrieved about the rising inflation numbers; rather the widening gap between anticipation and realization of the 100th 100 is a monumental worry. Even the world population clock ticked past 7 billion sooner than expected. And SRK did not disappoint with his Ra.One as much as SRT did with his Sau.Run.
Here then is the question I am forced to ask. How many more innings and days/weeks are we to suspend any sort of productive work and glue ourselves to the idiot box, Cricinfo and Hope to explode in joy for Woh Sau Run? More than billion people are watching with bated breath till the fragile bond of patience is broken and they start breathing down poor Little Master's neck. Countless theories, analyses, dogmas and vivisections are on offer to expound on the "unattainable century". Perpetrators of greater frauds and sins in recent times have come out unscathed but the No.1 batsman is cornered in the dock. Pity him. There should a way to extricate all of us and the Milestone Man from this impasse. Did you say the Manipur blockade crossed 100 days? Why bother.... Let me move on...
For lack of any other creative indulgence, I racked my brain and thought of some possibilities:
WI to offer Him the century the next time He gets first half of them as quid pro quo for the draw offered by Dhoni at Dominica in the final Test of the Windies tour earlier this year.
Yuvraj Singh to be dropped from the playing XI and allow the Master to bat at No. 4 and No. 5 and thereby increase the chances of a cumulative score of 100.
Indian players to make a passionate appeal to the umpire to grant the next century scored by Chanderpaul to the man-in-waiting. Remember we won the World Cup 2011 for His sake. Henceforth any century scored by an Indian player or player of Indian origin must be accorded to Him.
BCCI to throw its weight around and make a vehement claim for ICC to grant honorary 100th 100 status to the world’s best batsman in lieu of his distinguished services to the sport and a Runs hungry people.
Sunil Gavaskar (the most ardent supporter of master blaster) to suggest one more reform to the game where a batsman approaching such an unthinkable milestone (and there is only one such batsman now) should be allowed a modified form of Power Play where every run scored after the 76th run should be granted as double run so that the march towards the 100 mark is faster.
Finally, if the Genius wants to be man of his own making (without any doubt, he is) he could launch himself into the 20-20 mode by drawing inspiration from his own innings of 100 against KTK in IPL 4. Or imagine Devendra Bishoo and Darren Sammy as Shane Warne bowling at Sharjah and smash them out of the Eden Gardens. That will put this issue to rest.
If nothing else works, let us urge Digvijayji to demand a probe into the Opposition team’s links with RSS for playing havoc with our National Treasury of Cricketing Records.
Having fabricated the above scenarios I wear a smug look on my face. Justifiably I belong to the innumerable armchair critics and off-the-field players who can provide batting/bowling/fielding tips at the drop of a hat even without rolling an arm or holding the bat anytime on the field.
The onerous task I had undertaken is now accomplished. There is tons (Oops! this word has such an eery feeling) of work piled on my desk now. Hence I get back to do what I am perceived to be good at. And Sachin returns to the nets in his continual pursuit to chisel and hone the same skills he has employed to hold this populous country’s attention for the last 22 years. We have rooted for him for so many years on his journey to 99 hundreds. Why the wait for a little more than dozen innings should feel so long and interminable before he reaches the summit is somewhat inexplicable. In a nation that is obssessed with one political family, one filmi Shehanshah and one sporting hero, where individual excellence often obliterates collective failures in so many fields, we flatter in praise one moment and despair in nothingness another moment.
While I pray for the day when every citizen is capable of achieving humble milestones every single day I silently make this wish - Good Luck Sachin.
We will wait. We will exult when the moment arrives.
PS: As I finished writing this, I was captivated by the ongoing Aus-SA test match at Cape Town. Ignore everything I said above. How to get those 100 runs easily is to abandon the WI tour and invite the Aussies to our backyard immediately. Their confidence must be abysmally low and SRT cannot be challenged. Of course, you have to drop VVS from the playing XI.
Here then is the question I am forced to ask. How many more innings and days/weeks are we to suspend any sort of productive work and glue ourselves to the idiot box, Cricinfo and Hope to explode in joy for Woh Sau Run? More than billion people are watching with bated breath till the fragile bond of patience is broken and they start breathing down poor Little Master's neck. Countless theories, analyses, dogmas and vivisections are on offer to expound on the "unattainable century". Perpetrators of greater frauds and sins in recent times have come out unscathed but the No.1 batsman is cornered in the dock. Pity him. There should a way to extricate all of us and the Milestone Man from this impasse. Did you say the Manipur blockade crossed 100 days? Why bother.... Let me move on...
For lack of any other creative indulgence, I racked my brain and thought of some possibilities:
WI to offer Him the century the next time He gets first half of them as quid pro quo for the draw offered by Dhoni at Dominica in the final Test of the Windies tour earlier this year.
Yuvraj Singh to be dropped from the playing XI and allow the Master to bat at No. 4 and No. 5 and thereby increase the chances of a cumulative score of 100.
Indian players to make a passionate appeal to the umpire to grant the next century scored by Chanderpaul to the man-in-waiting. Remember we won the World Cup 2011 for His sake. Henceforth any century scored by an Indian player or player of Indian origin must be accorded to Him.
BCCI to throw its weight around and make a vehement claim for ICC to grant honorary 100th 100 status to the world’s best batsman in lieu of his distinguished services to the sport and a Runs hungry people.
Sunil Gavaskar (the most ardent supporter of master blaster) to suggest one more reform to the game where a batsman approaching such an unthinkable milestone (and there is only one such batsman now) should be allowed a modified form of Power Play where every run scored after the 76th run should be granted as double run so that the march towards the 100 mark is faster.
Finally, if the Genius wants to be man of his own making (without any doubt, he is) he could launch himself into the 20-20 mode by drawing inspiration from his own innings of 100 against KTK in IPL 4. Or imagine Devendra Bishoo and Darren Sammy as Shane Warne bowling at Sharjah and smash them out of the Eden Gardens. That will put this issue to rest.
If nothing else works, let us urge Digvijayji to demand a probe into the Opposition team’s links with RSS for playing havoc with our National Treasury of Cricketing Records.
Having fabricated the above scenarios I wear a smug look on my face. Justifiably I belong to the innumerable armchair critics and off-the-field players who can provide batting/bowling/fielding tips at the drop of a hat even without rolling an arm or holding the bat anytime on the field.
The onerous task I had undertaken is now accomplished. There is tons (Oops! this word has such an eery feeling) of work piled on my desk now. Hence I get back to do what I am perceived to be good at. And Sachin returns to the nets in his continual pursuit to chisel and hone the same skills he has employed to hold this populous country’s attention for the last 22 years. We have rooted for him for so many years on his journey to 99 hundreds. Why the wait for a little more than dozen innings should feel so long and interminable before he reaches the summit is somewhat inexplicable. In a nation that is obssessed with one political family, one filmi Shehanshah and one sporting hero, where individual excellence often obliterates collective failures in so many fields, we flatter in praise one moment and despair in nothingness another moment.
While I pray for the day when every citizen is capable of achieving humble milestones every single day I silently make this wish - Good Luck Sachin.
We will wait. We will exult when the moment arrives.
PS: As I finished writing this, I was captivated by the ongoing Aus-SA test match at Cape Town. Ignore everything I said above. How to get those 100 runs easily is to abandon the WI tour and invite the Aussies to our backyard immediately. Their confidence must be abysmally low and SRT cannot be challenged. Of course, you have to drop VVS from the playing XI.
